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15 December 2005

Better Check For Your Sanity

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug." Do you want a room with or without a view? Tags: , ,


  1. As a nurse that specializes in Mental Health, I enjoyed your post. Here is another of my favorites that my colleagues and I all would find useful when we are working on the crisis lines.

    Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.

    * If you are obsessive-compulsive: Press 1 repeatedly.
    * If you are co-dependent: Ask someone to press 2 for you.
    * If you have multiple personalities: Press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
    * If you are paranoid: We know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
    * If you are delusional: Press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
    * If you are schizophrenic: Listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
    * If you are manic-depressive: It doesn't matter what number you press - no-one will answer.
    * If you are dyslexic: Press 969696969696969696.
    * If you have a nervous disorder: Please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
    * If you have amnesia: Press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
    * If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9.
    * If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9.
    * If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. If you have short term memory loss: Press 9.
    * If you have low self esteem: Please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

  2. Tarek and Jewelgurl -

    Thank you both for making my day. These are just what the Great Physician ordered. :-)